and I didn’t make anything for Xanxus. 

Imma write a crack story for him like right now.

Off the top of my head.

Here we go.

Once upon a time, in a far far far far away place thatdoesn’tevenexistanditonlyexistsinanime, there was this big ass castle with a group of sexy people called the Varia. The Varia went around killing people and shit, and they stunned fangirls on Tumblr with their hotness. Even Lussuria was hot. I guess. And Levi. 

Anyway, yesterday was Xanxus’s birthday. 

Which a certain long-haired man forgot about. 

“VOIIIIII IT WAS YO BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY.” Squalo yelled, as he barged into Xanxus’s room like a boss. Fangirl screams from SOMEWHERE could be heard miles away as he did this sexy hair flip thing. “Miles away”, meaning, “from the other side of the world.” Anyway. 

Xanxus looked up from his wine glass, and glared sexily at the man who had dared to interrupt his rest time. AkA “Time to get drunk” time. 

“Yes, and you missed it, you sexy piece of trash.” Xanxus said, as he threw the wine glass at Squalo. 

“VOIIIIIIII I SEE THAT LINE THERE.!” Squalo shouted, pointing his sword arm thing at the sentence, and glaring at his boss.

“Fuck you, I put that there on purpose.” Xanxus said.

“VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.” Squalo shouted.

“STOP VOI-ING.” Xanxus shouted

“VOIIIIIIIII THIS AUTHOR HAS A HUGE WRITER’S BLOCK.” Squalo shouted.

“I TOLD YOU TO STOP MOTHAFUCKIN VOIIII-ING.” Xanxus shouted.

They shouted.

Alot.

Oh ya, Squalo forgot about Xanxus’s birthday.

And they lived happily ever after.

The End. 

This story is the definition of bullshit.